The Opare Institute

Healthy relationships define the basis of our day to day lives.

We need other people in our life to be fulfilled. The worst punishment other than torture or execution is solitary confinement. A basic and fundamental principle is that we have a complementary exchange with those around us. We must interact in a reciprocal way that is mutually beneficial.

The choice of spouse and who to have children with are some of the most important decisions a person will make. Many of us have incorrectly made this choice based on emotion alone more than once. In the Western-influenced world, it is sad that this decision is taken so lightly and is made with so little foresight and wisdom. We must learn to judge potential partners by the content of their character and the compatibility of temperament and life purpose, not by the chemical reaction of hormones and physical attraction, and not by the superficial value system of the European.

Traditionally, prior to the colonial imposition of foreign courtship practices, families married one another when two adults came together as a couple. The family elders, having wisdom, could discern and understand the young adults’ strengths, weakness, proclivities and purposes in life. With wisdom unclouded by physical attraction and hormones, they could best judge whether the two young adults complemented one another.

The success of a man or a woman (and their children) is directly related to the success of their marriage. When you procreate, the two lineages are forever bound and you create a lifelong relationship. If you are wise, you will be very careful about who you have sex with. Consider very carefully avoiding conception, even after marriage, until it is clear you and your spouse are fully compatible and share life purpose and parenting philosophies.
As a result of the Maafa and our enslavement, we were sometimes conditioned to breed like chattel animals without regard to the offspring that result. We could expect that those offspring would often be taken from us and sold. Some of us have continued to behave sexually like slaves. Especially some of our most mentally enslaved males who attempt to impregnate as many females as possible, without regard to the children who result.

Relations must be reciprocal, a natural balance of giving and receiving. In Afrikan culture, there is a reciprocal order to personal and community relations. We naturally give back to those who give to us — not as a mechanism for keeping a balance sheet, but because it is the right thing to do. The idea that one can exploit another for energy and time is not our way, although it has become increasingly prevalent in our communities.

Relations should be complementary. The strengths of one person balances the weakness of the other and vice versa. We should seek partners who have skills and talents we do not have to complete the skill set within a couple.